If you want a deeply connected, intimate, passionate marriage, one area to evaluate is your communication with your partner.
Most of the time, there’s room for improvement in that department.
So often we get swept up in our schedules, and don’t put intentional effort into communicating.
We might avoid having deeper conversations because they can be uncomfortable.
We might think our husbands can and should be able to read our minds.
Or we might be resigned to just going through the motions with our partner and don’t bother to set aside time for communication other than the day-to-day logistics.
When we don’t communicate openly, honestly and calmly at regular intervals in our relationship, issues build up, and then come out only during an argument, when we really aren’t in a position to rationally discuss anything.
Or they just go unsaid, and we feel a creeping distance with our partner but we’re not exactly sure why.
Here’s what to do instead:
Plan regularly-scheduled “state of the union” talks. Like on your calendar. The same way you schedule other important appointments like hair and dentist and the kids’ soccer games.
The frequency is up to you and your husband. Weekly is amazing, or monthly, or quarterly. Or maybe a mix of those.
Having a scheduled time to calmly discuss anything and everything that’s going on, check in, make plans, get on the same page about things and understand each other more deeply can transform your relationship.
It gives both of you space to say what you want to say when it’s not in the heat of an argument. It empowers both of you by creating a regular practice of communication, so there’s no building resentment running in the background. And it can help cut waaaay down on issues being brought up in unhelpful ways during a disagreement.
Give it a try. Get some state of the union talks on your calendar over the next couple of months and see if that doesn’t skyrocket your connection with you spouse. ????
