Assuming the best ????
Tell me if you can relate to these scenarios:
•Your husband is in a grumpy mood and you automatically assume that it’s about you.
•Your partner doesn’t want to go to your work event and you assume that they are purposely trying to upset you or be difficult.
•Your spouse didn’t help with the kids’ bedtime, again, and you assume that they just don’t care.
We often assume the worst about our partners. That they are upset with us. That they are doing something against us. That they don’t care about us enough.
And those assumptions naturally create resentment and disconnection.
If you want to experience a connected, intimate, passionate relationship with your partner, and I know you do, assuming the worst isn’t going to get you there.
Try this instead – intentionally practice assuming the best of your partner.
When your husband is in a grumpy mood, open some space for compassion and ask yourself whether maybe he’s experiencing some job-related stress.
When your partner says that they don’t want to attend your work event, consider whether they feel socially awkward amongst a group of people they don’t know well.
When your spouse doesn’t help with the kids’ bedtime again, be curious about why that might be. Maybe it’s a pattern that they’re in. Maybe they are exhausted or not feeling well. Maybe you’ve never asked them to help with specific things and they don’t realize how important to you it is.
The things your partner says and does are just neutral circumstances in your life. You get to choose how to interpret them. So instead of always assuming the worst from this person that loves you and is committed to you, try assuming the best. When your brain goes to the default thoughts that create resentment or judgment or criticism, gently redirect yourself to consider what else might be true instead.
Want help making this type of shift? Go to the link in my bio to schedule a complementary 30 minute session with me! We will catalyze a serious transformation in your experience of your marriage, and I’ll tell you all about my coaching program for women physicians, Marriage MD. Let’s take your marriage from so-so to soooo amazing! ????
